Crack Open the Coconut

I’m trying to get it through my thick head that I should not worry so much. Why do I worry so much? What am I afraid of? It’s like cracking open a coconut with a toothpick. Useless.

Case in point: I just sent my work teammates an email that I will be out this afternoon for a little while attending my son’s game. We all work remotely and manage our time well. This should be a non-issue. In fact, I worked half of a day that I technically took completely off and ended up having to work to get a project out the door, so I can easily make up for the time lost.

Why do I stress about it? Why do I worry about what they all think? Why do I care? I should care more about getting to my son’s game and being fully immersed in that and not worrying about work.

What’s the worst that can happen? I guess I could get written up or fired, but I don’t think that will happen. I’ve worked long enough and I’m at a point in life where the importance needs to be placed on the right things… like family. Family is priority and that is exactly the discussion I had with my new boss when I interviewed. Work is important, but family is much more. This next few years will be gone in the blink of any eye. I’m not missing a beat.

It’s really ok. It really is. But my stomach knots up and I get minor heart palpations… I hate that. Why the heck does that still happen to me?

I need to enjoy this time. I need to drill a hole in that coconut, add some rum, stick a straw in it and drink up.