Cut It Out

Since the weekend was dominated by work, come Sunday afternoon, I was finally able to detach. It was then that I started to fight the negative place I fell into. 

I am usually a positive person. I really am. Even when I have a Fibro flare up, I’d rather say nothing than spout out complaints and fiery words. I was raised on the notion, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.” Fine by me. I don’t have the energy to expend on expending negativity. My energy is at a premium.

So, how did I claw my way back to happy land? I did something symbolic for myself that also had a goal of visually hiding my latest challenge… hair loss. I chopped my hair off. We’ll, I didn’t. My stylist did. I have thick hair, always have. Since my flare ups have started about a year and a half ago, I’ve lost a lot on the top front of my head.

My everyday ponytail style was getting way old, as well. So, what better way to do a 180 degree job on a bad attitude than to force a change for the better?

Four inches lighter later and I’m feeling the warm fuzzies return to my thoughts and words.

Feeling better already. Now about that job situation… I’ll have to think on that a bit.

The 29 Day Experiment

I’ve read that it takes about 30 days of doing the same thing to create a habit. I’m going to test the theory for 29 days, as suggested by @BecomingMinimalist (my new favorite site for inspiration).

So… what am I going to do for the next 29 days?

Write.

Whether it’s a blog post, a sentence or a word. I’m going to write something. Why? Why not? Besides, it’s my way of decluttering my mind. My closet is not the only thing that’s going to benefit from my efforts. Every since I was young and started journal writing, that instantly became my mental outlet. It clarifies me.

I’m not going to put a lot of requirements around what I write or defining a focus or anything. It will simply be to write something. Twenty-nine days is not really a lot of time, when I think about it.

One of the presents we got our son is a calligraphy set – with feather, ink and multiple pen tips. I’m hoping this inspires his creative side again. At 15 and extremely athletic, his artistic side has been overshadowed a bit. I know it’s in there, though. He is a fantastically detailed drawer, but a perfectionist to a fault.

So, this is day one, and those are my thoughts.

 

You Can’t Make Chicken Salad Out of Chicken $h!t

With somewhat of a heavy heart, I have come to terms with the limits and issues with my job. I had high hopes and plans of making a great impact there. But alas, I cannot fight a mediocre mentality. I cannot seem to find any inspiration. I think after nearly 10 months, I would have found it by now.

The measure of a good team is one that takes turns being the lead guy at the front of the peloton, setting the pace, pulling the pack, being the inspiration. At some point, that point person needs a break and another team member needs to jump in and be the guy at the front putting in more effort and driving the team.  There is no one that wants to be that lead person. No one who wants to raise the bar and challenge it. No one who will make the sacrifice for the team. And I certainly lost my will to be the one on an ongoing basis.

What’s the point.

It’s like I work with teenagers that don’t want to work and blame everybody else. They are all moody and most of them are stuck in the drama.

Blah.

Done.

So done.

I didn’t fully realize the impact of it until I interviewed with a progressive company that is making great waves and impacts. I got off the phone from the interview and it was like a veil was lifted. I forgot what it was like to feel inspired and energized by others that want to make a difference and work hard because they want to, not because someone expects them to. What a concept.

I got off that call and realized how dumbed down I felt getting dragged into the negative drama muck.

A close, personal friend of mine once told me that you can’t make chicken salad out of chicken shit. Well, it’s true. And I realize it would be self-defeating to think I could change things enough to make it better. It takes a team with a positive attitude that is accountable. And that, it is not.

But it is okay. It is okay because I found the place I want to run to. As much as I wanted to run from the job I am in, I learned early on, it is significantly better to run to something better than to run away from something bad.

And the best part is that I am being received with open arms, with great enthusiasm and it’s a dream job.

I will be going to sleep tonight knowing I am just days away from it being in ink. Official.

Yahoo!