We Have a Pulse!

Well, I jumped into the fire this week and started my new job that has already changed my working lifestyle.  I am super excited. I am also petrified.

It’s that same feeling you get when you step up to the front of the line after a long wait of serpentining through the longest line on the planet to finally reach your turn to ride that one epic roller coaster… the one you choose to step into and pull the safety bar down over your shoulders and pray it does it’s job during the pending thrill ride of the century. The same roller coaster that when it starts its initial ascent, which you know will immediately dovetail into the biggest drop right out of the gate… the one that in the middle of its ascent, it suddenly shoots you to the top of the drop when you least expect it.  And it’s all you can do to hold onto your soul.

I love roller coasters, but I also love getting off of them. This morning my feet are feeling more grounded again as I travel back home and will spend the next few business days in my home office. Deep, balancing breath.

My new role will have me juggling travel and home office time, and at the onset it will be dominated with client visits around the country, tackling a catch-up learning curve, while I am simultaneously shocking my marketing brain back to life.  The same brain that was wilting and dying in my previous fluster cluck.

I’ll be riding the coaster quite a bit at the onset, and hope the terrifying part will subside once I have tackled the learning curve. I am re-learning as I try to portray the expert at the very same time. This is where I hope my pokerface prevails.

I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself, but I also know there are a lot of expectations for my success in this position. Thankfully, after I am haunted with pressure-filled thoughts about my utter and complete failure that wakes me up in the wee hours of the night, I do arrive at the realization that I am only human and I am learning.

The new company I work for is fantastic with their support of work-life balance. I am surrounded by incredibly smart and innovative people, even though at a distance. I cannot wait to learn from them all. And I hope I can offer something enlightening to them, as well.

I am excited to expand my horizons, but know I will be dealing with different client personalities and expectations. My saving grace is my team. I just hope my expectations are met, as well.

So far, I have learned that I travel pretty well by myself. I like the alone time. It makes me appreciate my family even more. I will be relishing my time sitting at our kitchen table looking a forest views with deer wandering and raccoons eating seeds and us enjoying the simple things in life.

I have a few days until I’m getting on the roller coaster again – I’m thinking I’ll be looking forward to it again more than I know. After all, life feels more lived during those exciting yet petrifying times.

I think my neurons have a pulse!


I Gave My Notice and Felt Like a Total Asshole

Giving my notice at the place that was dominated by frustration, drama, mind-boggling decision making and brain numbing power struggles was not without its own level of stress.

I had to give my notice to my boss on her birthday. Her birthday. And, on the very same day she shared with me in confidence that her sibling was going to be taken off life-support and would be out of the office for an undetermined amount of time.

I’m absolutely serious.

Who does that? Who gives their notice in between birthday wishes, cake and tears? I did. And felt like the biggest ass on the planet.

It was, by far, the most difficult experience I’ve ever had of giving notice in my entire career. But, it had to be done. As a professional, I could not allow the personal stuff to dictate what I needed to do.

If I’ve learned anything in my career and leadership training, it’s don’t take it personally. Life is too short.

Grit your teeth and do what you need to do. Learn from it.

Leaving my team was tough, though. I want only for their success, and I know I left them dangling a little bit. But they are talented and have direction and they pull together to help each other.

I think I did okay with my short time there.