Poker-Faced Leadership

Today’s work adventure was chopped full of drama, emotion management and something I will call  a deceptive agenda. And this is my confession. Our particular business is getting beat on by multiple outside factors. So we are at a point where every potential lead that comes in needs to be scrutinized by multiple people and then we need to check a calculation on the leads that have already come in for the month and, on top of that, figure out if our full time people are full and can take the lesser-valued leads, which happen to be patients.

What the f*ck??

My team works their asses off each work day to bring in the leads only to hit multiple walls being thrown up by internal people who are negative and so black and white rigid that they can’t think themselves out of a wet paper bag. I actually witnessed a supervisor celebrate that we lost a new lead that did not turn into a client.

What the f*ck??

Seriously??

And even before that, one of my direct reports reacted rather dramatically to our new, extra complicated lead vetting process, understandably.

And all I could think was… “I need to shore her up before she starts looking for another job.”

Hence, I preceded with my own deceptive agenda to make sure my direct report’s concerns were addressed and her mind eased and refocused on our purpose for what we do… help people.

I confess and I am guilty.

But isn’t that my job as the boss? At least until I am no longer the boss there, that is my job. To be positive. To manage up these situations and provide hope and direction to my team so we can continue to work hard and bring in business.

I felt like a hypocrite. And still do. But in a small way, I do feel like I am justified because that is my role. I would want that if I were the top dog, and I would want that if I were the direct report.

Justified? Maybe.

Shameful? I hope not. The jury is out whether or not I have a formal offer on this new position with the other company. I am not counting my chickens before they are hatched. It’s not set in stone.

I think I did the right thing.

I could tell she was ready to start lining up interviews.. and she has a lot of contacts. With her talent, she would be scooped up in a snap. We are lucky to have her and she even said the only reason she has not left sooner was because of me. I am flattered, yet feel guilty.

I just hope I can put in my notice before she does.

Yep, I’m a hypocrite.

Welcome to Poker-Faced Leadership.

You Can’t Make Chicken Salad Out of Chicken $h!t

With somewhat of a heavy heart, I have come to terms with the limits and issues with my job. I had high hopes and plans of making a great impact there. But alas, I cannot fight a mediocre mentality. I cannot seem to find any inspiration. I think after nearly 10 months, I would have found it by now.

The measure of a good team is one that takes turns being the lead guy at the front of the peloton, setting the pace, pulling the pack, being the inspiration. At some point, that point person needs a break and another team member needs to jump in and be the guy at the front putting in more effort and driving the team.  There is no one that wants to be that lead person. No one who wants to raise the bar and challenge it. No one who will make the sacrifice for the team. And I certainly lost my will to be the one on an ongoing basis.

What’s the point.

It’s like I work with teenagers that don’t want to work and blame everybody else. They are all moody and most of them are stuck in the drama.

Blah.

Done.

So done.

I didn’t fully realize the impact of it until I interviewed with a progressive company that is making great waves and impacts. I got off the phone from the interview and it was like a veil was lifted. I forgot what it was like to feel inspired and energized by others that want to make a difference and work hard because they want to, not because someone expects them to. What a concept.

I got off that call and realized how dumbed down I felt getting dragged into the negative drama muck.

A close, personal friend of mine once told me that you can’t make chicken salad out of chicken shit. Well, it’s true. And I realize it would be self-defeating to think I could change things enough to make it better. It takes a team with a positive attitude that is accountable. And that, it is not.

But it is okay. It is okay because I found the place I want to run to. As much as I wanted to run from the job I am in, I learned early on, it is significantly better to run to something better than to run away from something bad.

And the best part is that I am being received with open arms, with great enthusiasm and it’s a dream job.

I will be going to sleep tonight knowing I am just days away from it being in ink. Official.

Yahoo!